Call me weird, call me naïve, call me a hopeless romantic, but I choose to believe there is more love in the air and in the world than we sometimes see… I know this might be an unpopular opinion given the state of the world, but our reality is what we make of it. While plenty may challenge this belief, our reality is shaped our own state of mind…
Have you ever seen the movie It’s a Beautiful Life? It’s about a father in a concentration camp who shields their young son from the horrors of their situation by turning it into a game. Because of his father’s unwavering perspective, the boy never experiences the trauma of their conditions in the same way. Watch the trailer here
This story reminds us of something profound:
We are super powerful creators…
What we think and what we believe, we manifest…
What we focus on, grows…
Why not put this superpower to work, as we can create whatever we desire.
For me, that means focusing on love- helping couples create their radiant and successful relationship and rekindling their love. Actually, not just rekindle it but create something new, a New Love…
What is this New Love?
For starters, the concept of New Love is about transcending our limitations to be as loving as we can be…
~ Letting go of the pettiness of our lower self
~ Releasing attachments to perceived limitations
~ Having grace for our own and other’s shortcomings
~ Being generous with- kindness, openness, flexibility, understanding, acknowledgement, acceptance, forgiveness, empathy, compassion, attention, affection, nurturing, support, cooperation, collaboration (Correlating to the 5 Elements of the Successful Relationship Strategy™)
~ Investing in win-win outcomes and elevating love as a collective experience
This Higher Perspective elevates us for a Grander Experience…
When we filter life through pettiness, we act petty
When we filter life through generosity, we act generously
When we filter life through love, we act lovingly
We can identify what we want to create and experience, and have it grow by simply focusing on and cultivating its related virtue, quality, feeling or state.
What this mean for our relationship
Here is the beautiful part: Aside from just feeling amazing and having a fabulous personal experience, you’ll notice your partner starts to shift along…
We can’t possibly operate from this Higher Perspective and not have it rub off on others, especially the ones closest to us, like our partner.
But a word of caution: Our approach has to be authentic and heart-felt. Not just lip service, hedging, conditions, or strings attached. Which are lower-self’s rules of engagement… With limiting underlying programming still running the show… This is the larger part of us and wins every time. So if there is a discrepancy between how we are showing up or our desire and what our programming dictates, the programming will impact the outcome no matter how hard we try…
Your partner and others will always respond to the underlying patterns, regardless of the words and actions. That’s why so many people say, “I tried everything, and nothing worked.”
We want to bring consciousness to our patterns allowing for a sustainable Higher Perspective. For there we can fill the space left behind by the dissolved patterns with the good stuff…
Now is the time to embrace this New Love.
Give it shot: Address your patterns and replace prior sabotaging habits with ones that nourish you, nurture your relationship, and delight your partner…
~~ Watch our related videos on our YouTube channel
~~ Download our Date Your Partner Protocolto learn how to better date your partner for more fun, connection and love!
PS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2025 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Aside from financial strain, many couples start considering divorce when find themselves frequently in conflict or no longer feeling the relationship…
At its core, these issues often stem from undermining relationship patterns or a lack of connection… And can easily be addressed by enriching the relationship and deepening the connection between the partners…
Being intentional about our relationship is a proven way to safeguard it against cheating and divorce.
That said, I understand how the idea of investing in the relationship and deepening connection might want to make you throw up in your mouth if you are currently at odds or feeling completely estranged. I get it, especially if:
~ Conversations derail no matter how hard you try to get on the same page
~ You feel you are the one doing all the work- apologizing, planning, and trying to make things better
~ The idea of being available, open, or vulnerable feels overwhelming or even terrifying
~ Making the first move toward connection or intimacy feels awkward and unnatural
~ You worry that your partner might not understand or appreciate your efforts, or worse- might reject them outright
~ The things you’ve tried so far haven’t gained any traction or given the results you hoped for
~ Even if there is improvement, it often feels short-lived with the relationship slipping back into old patterns
These feelings are valid, and they are part of the challenge.
The truth is, if there is little effort to mindfully addressing issues, vulnerably sharing needs and preferences, and proactively investing in nurturing our relationship giving love and caring, the relationship has very little chance of surviving, never mind thriving…
These are antidotes to frequent conflicts and estrangement in our relationship… When we feel connected, we can have more understanding, give grace more readily, and find it easier to align, problem-solve, collaborate, and play together…
WHEN FREQUENT CONFLICTS IS THE CULPRIT
It is certainly not easy to be in a relationship that is riddled with tension and conflict. When conversations feel flat, superficial, or forced and the slightest truth can turn into a disagreement. When any behavior, decision, or comment has the potential to trigger a and argument that quickly escalate into a full-blown fight. When concerns or dislikes are left unspoken simply to avoid another argument.
This dynamic arises from the partners’ limiting belief systems, relationship mindset, communication styles, and defensive patterns. Creating habits and patterns that hinder the ability to show up compassionately, vulnerably, and authentically for one another.
~ Being Fully Committed – Closing any gaps or leaks and being intentionally building a successful relationship with a shared vision for a life together.
~ Taking Full Accountability – Owning your role in the current dynamic and making the necessary changes to foster different, more positive outcomes.
~ Proactively Addressing Challenges – Tackling what’s not working with compassion, kindness, and patience, while investing in nurturing and strengthening the relationship.
Making a commitment to making the relationship work, is in itself a powerful step toward making the relationship work…
WHEN ESTRANGEMENT IS THE CULPRIT
And it’s certainly not easy to be in a relationship that feels cold, distant, and transactional… Where the partners function more like roommates, prioritize their children over the relationship, or simply lead parallel lives. Where they might have challenges finding things in common or having fun together. Where they have let their physical intimacy fall by the wayside…
It is actually painful to live in a barren household or have a distant relationship. As humans, we have an innate need for connection, it’s hardwired into us as a fundamental part of our being. When we don’t meet this need, and especially if we have abandonment wounds, the pain can be excruciating. This pain invites our ugliest defense mechanisms as we try to cope with the distress…
Unfortunately, these defense mechanisms perpetuate the destructive power struggle cycle, the dissatisfying patterns, that couples experience when they haven’t invested in personal development and relationship enrichment.
The solution lies in creating, maintaining, and deepening their connection to create emotional safety that allows them to take the relationship and their intimacy to the next level:
~ Creating Connection – Gently reaching out for interest in connecting and nurturing the relationship. Showing interest in our partner with curiosity about their thoughts, feelings, experiences and desires.
~ Maintaining Connection – Implementing Connection Habits™ to protect the bond, cultivate a sense of closeness, and easily re-engage and reconnect even during challenging times.
~ Deepening Connection – Elevating interactions by engaging in more intimate, vulnerable, and authentic conversations that explore values, personal truths, emotions, and even existential topics for a richer and more profound connection.
Showing genuine interest in our partner can make a world of difference. When they feel truly valued, appreciated, understood, and desired the foundation of the relationship strengthens and the relationship starts to flourish.
Being intentional about our relationship is a proven way to safeguard it against cheating and divorce. By addressing and transforming defense mechanisms, programs, and patterns that drive our interactions, and by actively investing in connecting with our partner, we pave the way the way for creating the relationship we desire.
It is up to us to prevent the demise of our relationship by showing up with the best of intentions and with our Best Self. Only then can our relationship become the relationship we both love.
Happy showing up…
With Much Love & Light!
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PPS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2025 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Whether we celebrate Halloween or not, the holiday can still bring us fun and excitement… We don’t have to necessarily be a part of it to pick up inspiration… We can just soak up the vibes for an infusion of aliveness. Which at times can be much needed in our relationship…
It is common for partners to experience a rut in their relationship. Where they feel stuck, stagnant, bored, bland, distant, or disconnected. Partners can tap into the excitement of Halloween to liven up their relationship.
But I can already feel partners’ resistance about how lame the holiday is, and how it’s only for kids or immature people. Or how it goes against their religion. Or how tired and time restricted they are to engage in such frivolous activities. Or other some such…
Well, what I want to offer has actually very little to do with Halloween itself… But more with riding the wave of its exciting energy…
When We Have the Best of Intentions but Fall Flat
It doesn’t take that much to create change in our relationship. I’m sure you are aware that how you interact with your partner informs how they’ll interact back… How you choose to respond to them invites how they respond back. How much you choose to invest in your relationship, inspires them to invest back. And I’m talking about the right kind of investment mind you…
I often here things like: I’ve tried it all. I do it all. I do so much, I can’t do any more. Or, I’m the one that does the things.
But usually, the tried things overcompensate, undermine, castrate or snuff, sabotage, are codependent or misaligned in some way… We get in our own way with old scrips or narratives, projections, and unrealistic or unexpressed expectations.
The key is to focus on what we are doing and not what our partner is doing. Bringing understanding, compassion, and genuine engagement from the heart. No strings attached…
Take a look at how you show up to your relationship and honestly identify if you are showing up with your Best Self as much as possible. If you are taking the High Road as much as possible. If you are being mindful of not setting your partner up to fail you as much as possible… No Ego here please. Be truthful. This is the only way that you can create the change you seek.
This honesty helps us polish how we show up, so we inspire our partner to show up better for us… And voila! That’s how we create change…
Clean up how you perceive yourself showing up in your relationship and how you actually show up… And then properly invest in having amazing interactions with your partner and in creating the relationship you love…
5 Spooky Strategies to Spice Up Your Relationship
Halloween’s exciting energy offers an opportunity to tap into different possibilities… Even if we are not partaking in the holiday per se, we can tap into the energetics around us to shake things up…
Playing Pranks
Pranks and being playful is one of the simplest ways to bring levity, laughter, and fun to your relationship. Pulling something off and getting this kind of attention is always exciting. I love it when my husband sneaks up to scare me. After decades together, he still manages to pull this off. LOL Step up your playfulness game for more giddiness and joy.
Playing Dress Up
This can mean anything from wearing costumes on Halloween, to getting dressed up to go on a date, to getting all decked out for a special occasion, to wearing sexy or other fun outfits to sexy moments. Life is too short to hold back, bring out the fancy you. Wrap yourself to shine and dazzle your partner with the gift of you.
Playing New Roles
There are spoken and unspoken agreements in our relationship about what roles we each play… Who is the fixer. Who is the jokester. Who is the spender. Who is the talker. Who is the chef. Who is the initiator. Who is the instigator. All kinds of roles. Bring forward a way of being, a skill, or talent that’s different from your usual to surprise and delight your partner.
Playing with an Identity Upgrade
How we show up, interact, and contribute to our relationship is befitting who we believe we are, our identity… The habit of being ourselves… We can upgrade our identity to anything we want. Upgrade yours to capture who you’d be if you had already created your epic love affair with your partner. If you already were the Best Partner… And start being the Best Partner…
Playing with a New Reality
Envision a new reality where you are living an upgraded life, with an upgraded relationship, with an upgraded version of you. What does that reality look like? What’s different about it? How are you different? How are you different in your relationship? What does it feel like? Generate those feelings going forward to live in the new reality…
Whether you go trick-or-treating or host a Halloween party, or just choose to dole out candy, or simply ignore the holiday, know that you can get your freak on anytime. You can show up with a different version of you at any time.
I say let’s show up with all the possibilities. Let’s expand our repertoire. Let’s not be so predictable. Let’s stretch into different versions of ourselves. Let’s really embody our Best Self. And let’s delight our partner with a new partner. Let’s shake things up. Let’s spices things up in our relationship this Halloween.
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Yep, the celebration continues! We are celebrating our Podcast’s 1st Year Anniversary! Love bringing topics and conversations to support you in your Journey. I super enjoy the conversations with colleagues, friends, and experts on topics that I believe would enrich your experience, expand your consciousness, and of course help you make the changes you are seeking in your relationship and your life. We got you!
We cover a range of topics from all things relationship, including changing codependent patterns, to mental health and wellness, to self-love and expanding consciousness… We believe in embracing a relationship enrichment lifestyle and support you in creating the relationship and life you love. Through love and connection, we can create anything we desire…
Our celebration includes special episodes this month of selected segments from each episode we’ve created thus far of key takeaways for immediate implementation and results…
In this episode we cover the second half of the episodes, with topics such as: Embracing interconnectedness, empowering ourselves in relationship, integrating meaningful rituals and traditions, enhancing our sex life, developing parenting of neurodivergent children, implementing health, wellness, and success mindset and habits, considering divorce through mediation.
When you come across a guest you like or a topic that you’d like to hear more on, you can access their full original video episode linked in the list below.
Hope you enjoy this Essentials Compilation!
Hope this information serves you and helps you get on the path to your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life.
Get our Podcast 1st Year Episodes, including our Guests’ Gifts or Special Offers AND our FREE Relationship Enrichment Mini Course!
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THE GUESTS LINEUP
Segment: Awakening to Our Consciousness and Interconnectedness From Episode 12: Jeffrey Dunne – Explore Interconnectedness for More Harmony and Joy
Segment: Managing and Owning Ourselves Creates Smoother Interactions From Episode 13: Cinthia Hiett – Refresh Your Relationship with Your Adult You
Segment: Why Rituals Are Important and How they Enrich Our Relationships From Episode 14: Evan Imber-Black – Exploring Rituals to Enrich Relationships and Create Change
Segment: How We Choose to Look at Things Creates Our Reality From Episode 15: Francois Lupien – Small Big Mindset Tweaks to Succeed at Everything in Life
Segment: There are Two Types of Lovers in the Relationship From Episode 16: Deborah Fox – Libido Differences, Rekindling Desire and Sexual Satisfaction
Segment: What’s So Special About Play and Why It’s Important From Episode 17: Polina Shkadron – Parenting Neurodivergent Children: Tantrums, Parenting Styles, Self-Regulation (Pt1)
Segment: A Controversial Approach to Managing Kids Acting Out From Episode 18: Polina Shkadron – Parenting Neurodivergent Children: Transitions, Discipline, and Connection (Pt2)
Segment: Everything in Your Life Has an Impact on Your Wellbeing From Episode 19: Marvin Bee – A Different Perspective on Habits for Overall Health and Happiness
Segment: Even Your Personality Has an Impact on Your Health From Episode 20: Angela Mazza – Connecting Health Issues to Psychological and Relational Patterns
Segment: Your Daily Rhythms and Habits Impact Your Hormones From Episode 21: Serena Goldstein – Demystifying Women’s Hormonal Journey Throughout their Life Cycle
Segment: Creative Ways of Breaking Impasses When Divorcing From Episode 22: Glenn Dornfeld – If You Choose to Divorce, Choose Empowering Settlements with Ease
It is not uncommon for relationships to experience an intimacy or sex drought. Where the partners are just not being as intimate as they would normally prefer. There is usually one partner that expresses less interest, but it can happen where both are just not into it. The partners might have different reasons for the lack of desire and interest. And they most likely have different libidos, desire levels, and preferences for timing, frequency, and duration of their physically intimate moments as well as what they entail… In other words, what kind of sex they like to have. It is a wonder that we even make babies, but that’s a different topic…
There is much intricacy in each of these factors making each couple unique in their experience and what kind of relationship they create. And even within the couple, the partners have very different experiences and ideas from each other about what is going on… Not for nothing this is a very sensitive, delicate, and complex situation for partners to address and be able to change.
The uniqueness of each partner in-and-of-itself plays a significant role. Two unique individuals coming together to create a joint life is no easy feat. All the differences that made the match of the partners so special in the first place now make an elaborate undertaking to align and synchronize for optimal bliss within the relationship…
The richness and gloriousness of what is a couple, and a relationship, gets lost on most people. There is so much going on that meets the eyes, and even more underneath it all.
Couples are super special. They are the coming together of two people to create a greater whole, a much larger One. This whole, the relationship is the vehicle through which we navigate and live our life. It is imperative that we take care of it so we can have a wonderful Journey…
What does this mean for our connection, intimacy, and sex life?
~ This means that we can’t allow ourselves to get sucked into our negativity bias, into our limiting believes and scripts, into righteousness, into poor communication hygiene and habits, into our reactions and defensive patterns, into complacency and denial, into competition, comparison and tit-for-tat. That we are mindful and intentional about how we do ourselves- who we choose to be and how we choose to show up.
Partners are on the same team! They are allies. Yet they might fall prey to seeing and treating each other as the enemy. This just compounds the difficulties and disconnect they might be experiencing…
~ This means that we choose to address anything that is getting in the way from our most epic relationship and love affair with our partner. That we choose to get medical attention and other services for anything physical or emotional affecting our health, wellbeing, and everything else.
~ This means that we address the circumstances affecting our relationship, our connection, our intimacy, our libido and our passion.
~ This means that we address any relationship issues or concerns, anything we are fighting about or that gets us, any egoic patterns, any relationship patterns, and anything that keeps us from getting along, getting on the same page, connecting deeply and meaningfully, from having the best sex, from really having fun with our partner, from creating the strongest partnership…
~ This means that we give some serious, and some playful, thoughts to our purpose, the meaning of our life, the kind of life we want to live, the type of human we want to be, the kind of legacy we want to impart, the kind of relationship we want to be a part of to help us sort through all this and enjoy the process…
I offer to not get hang up in the weeds of what is going on with your intimacy… I offer to take a larger view of your situation and how everything interconnects… You might be surprised as to what comes up to tweak to help all the dominos fall into place… All the above becomes so much easier and a pleasure to mitigate, address, deconstruct, and even transcend…
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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