What Struggling Couples Can Learn From Successful Couples (Ep.32)

What Struggling Couples Can Learn From Successful Couples (Ep.32)

There is a difference on how successful couples show up to their relationship, versus how couples who struggle in their relationship do. The couples that create an amazing relationship are fully committed to their partner and to making the relationship work. They know that life might throw curveballs and that they might experience challenges, but they are committed to seeing them through together. They don’t look at their relationship and their partner as disposable if they hit a rough patch in the relationship. They are all in and willing to figure it out. 

They are willing to put in what it takes to crack the code at creating a radiant and successful relationship. They invest in themselves and the relationship to continue to uplevel their game.  

Making this level of commitment might be innate to the partners, who they are as people, and their development level. It might also have to do with how much personal work they’ve done for themselves, and how they have embraced a Relationship Enrichment Lifestyle. Meaning that they are super intentional about minding their relationship and prioritizing their partner… 

Through my work with couples during almost 3 decades at this point, I have come to see similar patterns that playout in relationships for couples that are struggling. These cluster into 5 main areas of relationship. These patterns when not addressed wreak havoc in the relationship and present a serious struggle for the partners. Gone unaddressed create demise for the relationship. They corrode the bond and the partners’ love. They get in the way of partners creating the relationship they desire and love. 

Addressing those patterns, facilitating personal development and expansion, and providing relationship insights, tools and skills, informed a therapeutic approach that I’ve named the Transcendental Relationship Therapy™, that includes our signature process, the Successful Relationship Strategy™.

THE SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP STRATEGY

The Strategy consists of 5 Elements, the 5 relationship areas, that when optimized create a transformation for a couple that is struggling. Successful couples tackle these elements naturally, intentionally investing in improving on them as needed. They bring higher level of awareness to their relationship. 

Here I provide a brief description of the Elements along with how partners who struggle go wrong in these areas, and a takeaway for immediate implementation and transformation. And I offer 4 virtues to cultivate for each of the 5 Element to assist you uplevel in that particular aspect of your relationship. You’ll have 20 virtues to play with as you like to start transforming your relationship to the relationship you desire and that you both love…

Element 1 – Circumstance (Context) & Mindset

This has to do with how we choose to show up, what we contribute to the relationship including our believes, our values, our dreams, and our desires. This is all our mental content and patterns, all our subconscious programs and conditioning. And how we approach boundaries and personal ownership.  

Couples that struggle bring stories of victimhood and have old scripts and limiting beliefs running rampant and coloring their experience. They also have thought patterns, habits, and a strong negativity bias that don’t support them in creating what they desire. They point fingers, blame, and pass the bucket. They don’t have strong accountability or take full responsibility for themselves. These partners are quick to state how they partner needs to change or what they need to improve…   

Takeaway > Focus on cleaning up and updating your relationship mindset to that of being fully in and being allies, for engaging with your partner as the most important person in your life- your Partner in this life Journey… 

Virtues to Cultivate

Commitment – Demonstrating loyalty and dedication shows your partner they can count on you, even through challenges. Commitment reinforces the longevity of the relationship. >> Commit to a specific caring gesture your partner loves that you’ll do at a cadence of your choice

Confidence – Believing in yourself and your worth enhances self-esteem and helps create a balanced relationship where both partners feel valued. >> Take on a hobby or activity you enjoy to stretch and expand yourself

Conviction – Standing by your values and principles helps guide the relationship in a positive direction, ensuring both partners grow together with integrity. >> Identify your values (get our Core Values Guide!) to share with your partner and to create shared ones

Contentment – Appreciating your partner and the relationship as it fosters gratitude and satisfaction, reducing unnecessary friction or conflict. >> Implement a shared Relationship Gratitude Journal, Appreciation Sessions, or other gratitude practice

Element 2 – Communication & Alignment

This has to do with getting on the same page, resolving conflict, making decisions, having genuine apologies, and having meaningful conversations. It involves using healthy communication skills and tools, being respectful, receptive, attuned, and authentic. Having great communication goes a long way. 

Couples that struggle focus on saying their piece, pushing their agenda, and getting their way. Even the quiet partners have this underlaying pattern, though they might have different drivers and motivations. They don’t utilize proper communication tools and skills, even when they have them. Making assumptions about their partner’s motives, intentions, desires, and so on. They escalate disagreements, don’t repair properly, if at all, and have a difficult time getting to any resolutions.  

Takeaway > Focus in upgrading, upleveling and enhancing your communication skills and tools 

Virtues to Cultivate 

Clarity – Communicating your needs, feelings, and thoughts clearly prevents misunderstandings. Clarity also means being transparent about intentions and expectations. >> Identify a small topic that usually trips you up, and invite your partner to chat about it with better skills

Civility Being polite and respectful during both good and bad times ensures that conflicts are handled gracefully and that feelings are protected and the bond safeguarded. >> Invite your partner into a challenge or game of civility- see who wins at being more courteous! 

Carefulness Being thoughtful about your words and actions shows care for your partner’s feelings. It ensures that decisions are made with their well-being in mind. >> Take an action you’ve been postponing to show your partner you get it and care  

Courage Having the courage to express vulnerability, tackle tough conversations, or navigate challenges strengthens the bond and promotes growth. >> Create a moment to share 3 vulnerable or risqué thoughts about yourself with your partner…

Element 3 – Clarity & Dynamics

This has to do with our relationship dynamics… The patterns we repeat from unresolved childhood issues, wounds, or disappointments… We call this the relationship loop… This is where a partner’s sensitivities or wounds get triggered, to which they respond with their usual defense mechanisms, which in turn trigger their partner, and when they respond with their own defense mechanisms trigger the initial triggered partner some more… This is where all the emotional content, patterns, and programming resides. All our unconscious and buried conditioning driving the show.  

Couples that struggle have a hard time self-regulating, they are easily triggered and become reactive, turning disagreements into arguments and possibly fights with the potential for further escalation. They have the same repeating conflicts and unresolved issues. They have poor insight and awareness as to their sensitivities, emotional drivers, and patterns. And they also lack awareness as to their impact on their partner and their needs, boundaries, and sensitivities. These are some indicators of codependency in the relationship.   

Takeaway > Focus on identifying and addressing your triggers, your core wounds or unresolved issues, and your defense mechanisms that contribute to getting stuck in a power struggle- your loop…

Virtues to Cultivate 

Calmness – Remaining calm during disagreements helps prevent escalation and promotes constructive communication. It fosters a peaceful environment where both partners feel secure. >> Implement a mindfulness practice to assist you get grounded, integrated and regulated for more resilience

Composure – Staying emotionally composed during conflicts prevents regrettable actions or words, allowing for thoughtful resolution and healing. >> Think on the things that usually aggravate you and identify a deeper need beneath it that you can meet

Compassion – Empathizing with your partner’s struggles and offering support without judgment deepens emotional intimacy and trust. >> On a daily find something to be compassionate for towards your partner

Consistency – Being dependable and predictable in your behavior builds trust and security in the relationship. Small, consistent acts of love make a big difference. >> Identify a behavior that meets your partners deeper needs to do on a regular basis

Element 4 – Connection & Intimacy

This has to do with creating, maintaining, and deepening connection in our relationship. As well as exploring our physical intimacy, expanding our passion, and taking it to new heights for sacred love making and earth shuttering connection. This is where partners flirt, play and have fun together. 

Couples that struggle barely show up to their relationship. They show up with toxic habits and old patterns, and with their Lower Self… They neglect their relationship and not prioritize their partner. Everything else gets their best energy and attention- from their children to their career or business to miscellaneous stuff! When our partner is THE most important partnership and resource we have in this life experience… Neglecting our relationship is like boarding up a gold mine… 

Takeaway > Focus on prioritizing your partner and the relationship in your thoughts, your actions, and how you manage your energy, bandwidth, and time 

Virtues to Cultivate

Caring – Expressing genuine concern for your partner’s physical and emotional health strengthens trust and deepens the bond. Small acts of care, like checking in or offering support, go a long way. >> Build in Connection Habits™ to automate nurturing your relationship!

Charity – Practicing generosity in giving time, attention, and support demonstrates selflessness in the relationship. Charity here also includes giving grace and forgiving mistakes. >> Set aside consistent Couple Time to have fun together, debrief or address things, and connect more meaningfully

Cheerfulness – Bringing joy and positivity to the relationship helps create an uplifting atmosphere. A cheerful attitude can lighten tense moments and keep the relationship fun. >> Bring out the fun, lightness and joy with cute, funny, and playful gestures 

Creativity – Finding new ways to keep the relationship exciting and fresh, such as planning unique dates or surprises, enhances joy and connection. >> This is where Dating Your Partner comes in – make it fun! (get our Dating Your Partner protocol!)

Element 5 – Collaboration & Partnership

This has to do with creating a strong partnership, a well-oiled machine to run the business of life and create a shared life you both love. The key is to divide and conquer utilizing your own strengths and having each other’s back. Setting up structures and systems and implementing support to smoothly take care of the mundane responsibilities, and saving time to apply to meaningful projects, ventures or activities. 

Couples that struggle are chaotic and overwhelmed. They haven’t clarified expectations, clearly divided responsibilities, they don’t have efficient and rewarding daily and weekly routines, they don’t have systems for collaborating and taking care of business. They get in each other’s way and sabotage any progress they might make. They are inconsistent in their efforts and frequently end up behind the eight ball.

Takeaway > Focus on creating cadences to help you synchronize with your partner around sharing responsibilities and running a smooth life

Virtues to Cultivate 

Collaboration – Collaborating on a shared vision, planning the future, shared goals, and mapping out strategies strengthens unity and alignment. >> Have a talk about what kind of life you want to create and live and how you’d like to go about creating it 

Cooperation – Working as a team to achieve goals, get things done, manage your shared life, and resolve conflicts, demonstrates teamwork and mutual respect. >> Make sure you have a divide and conquer approach to all your responsibilities (get our Relationship Collaboration System!)

Compromise – Finding common ground during disagreements ensures that both partners’ needs are met, strengthening understanding, acceptance and belonging. >> Identify an activity or pursuit that you usually struggle getting on the same page on and find the common ground there

Competence – Being reliable and capable in fulfilling responsibilities (e.g., managing finances, supporting during tough times) contributes to a stable and dependable partnership. >> Select a task or project flowing from your shared goals that can draw from your brilliance to run with and crush it

This is a framework to assist you assess where you need to invest more or differently in your relationship to create the transformation you seek and ultimately your Radiant and Successful Relationship, and meaningful life.  

Hope this information serves you and helps you get on the path to your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life. 

 

Episode Transcript

Learn more about the Podcast and check out other great episodes!

If you enjoyed the episode, we’d love for you to leave a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts to help others discover the show.

 

MENTIONED INSIDE

Successful Relationship Strategy™ Playlist

FREE Downloadable Exercises and Implementation Support 
Identify Your Core Values
Dating Your Partner
Collaboration in Relationship

FREE Downloadable Handout On Setting Effective Boundaries

FREE Subscription to The Upleveling Challenge 

JUST FOR YOU

NEW! Monthly Activating Protocols
Establish Your Highest Potential in 10 Key Life Areas, Design Your New Life
Having a North Star ensures we stay the course on the path we desire on our Journey. It ensures we create the relationship and life we love, and have the Human Experience we desire… In this activation, we walk through a Visioning and Expansion Process to reprogram and reset for the New Year… We take a deep dive and activate the Highest Potential in 10 Life Areas to drive your reset. You get to explore your heart’s desires and identify the specific actions, tactic, or habits you’ll implement to create your New Beginnings, and your Ideal New Life… We design your ideal lifestyle you can start living immediately that’s the framework to live your Grand Life Adventure…

Don’t have a Membership with us yet? Access it and much more through our Radiance Membership! (Only $29 per month)
Get Enrolled NOW

RESOURCES

~~ Watch our related videos on our YouTube channel

~~ Download our FREE 1-pg Core Values Guide to align your vision today! Make your relationship resolutions, goals and dreams come true and create a shared life you love!

~~ Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Interested in Couple Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Coaching, Individual Therapy or Support Sessions?

We can help with our select memberships:
Radiance Membership – Transformational content and experiences subscription (Only $29 per month!) 
Success Membership – Private sessions and Radiance Membership access! (Start with an Initial Session)

~~ Interested in being our Guest? Interested in having Emma be a Guest in your Podcast?
Contact us about a possible collaboration!

 

 

DISCLAIMER: This content is meant to support your Journey and not as a replacement for professional assistance. Additionally, the ideas and resources provides by our guests are their ideas and recommendations alone and not necessarily a reflection of mine

Copyright (c) 2025 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

Beating the Winter Blues, Starting the New Year Right (Ep.31)

Beating the Winter Blues, Starting the New Year Right (Ep.31)

Feeling the winter blues? You are not alone. This second part of January is usually challenging for people for several reasons. But we don’t have to let the blah mood, feelings, and energy take over, and make life more difficult for ourselves. We can increase our awareness of what is happening for us, instead of being steeped in it with no light in sight. Picking up our head and bringing more consciousness to our situation allows us to tap into our resources and snap ourselves out of it.

Here are 5 reasons we are feeling the winter blues, including seasonal affective disorder (SAD), and 3 powerful ways of addressing them to elevate ourselves into new beginnings, and our New Ideal Future… 

5 Reasons for the Winter Blues

There is no shame or judgement about being afflicted by the winter blues. You might be experiencing some blahs and lack of motivation. Or you might be feeling straight up *depressed. Regardless of where you are on the spectrum, these will help you have your own back, feel better and get moving in the right direction for you and for your new future… 

*Please get professional support, individual or couple therapy to make getting on track easier – we are here for you!

Post-Holidays Lull

The Holidays are usually tough and their impact have a tendency to linger. You might have had a bit of momentum with the start of the New Year with stepping up your game to start the new year right. But soon after, any lingering and new negative feelings emerge as the accelerated pace, excitement, personal time, and availability for connection go back to normal and there is a sense of loss or let down.

Cold and Dark Winter Days

As there is a bit of hibernation, isolation, less sun light, fresh air, connection to nature, and shorter days that make it difficult to feel in the flow, bright and energized. Our circadian rhythm is off as we don’t properly align our life with sunup and sundown… And a lot of our biological systems get thrown off affecting our brain function and mood. Our mental health is impacted.

Financial Strain

Around this time is when it becomes more obvious how much the holiday season had an impact on our finances. Even if we were intentional about our spending, there might still be a part of us that feels the impact of the additional spending. 

Unfulfilled New Year’s Resolutions or Intentions

We all have the best of intentions to have our Best Year Yet, but nonetheless might be quick to fall into our usual routines, patterns, and lose sight of the changes we want to make. We let up on creating the new habits. And on addressing any frictions or obstacles to fully implementing any changes to our routines. 

Lack of Motivation

We are already feeling depleted from all the above, and additionally don’t we might not have a dream, a vision, and goals to pull us forward, inspire us and excite us. It makes sense that we’d be lost, stuck or gloomy and not feel like tackling anything.

We can experience any combination of the above to some extent. The result is having a bumpy start to the new year and feeling like we are behind the 8 ball. That we are not upleveling properly and timely for our best year yet. We might feel impostor syndrome, judgment, shame, fear, inertia at being in this place, making the whole thing even worse.

3 Empowering Ways to Beat the Winter Blues

The only thing to do is to be kind and compassionate with ourselves when we are not feeling well. To be gentle and loving, and to have our own back to get ourselves on the right track, and rocking it before we know it.  

Manage Yourself and Your Feelings

The key is to self-soothe/regulate, self-care and energize ourselves. 

Self-soothe – Use practices to manage and alleviate the feelings, change your mood, and uplevel your state: Meditation, breathing techniques, EFT, mindfulness, journaling, addressing limiting believes, cultivating joy, decreasing screen time, and focusing on things that are in our control (personal ownership and accountability).

Self-care – Aside from the above focus taking care of yourself: Proper sleep, nutrition, hydration, supplementation, exercise, personal care.  

Step up the fun and connection – Be super intentional about having positive experiences and nurturing connection: Schedule connection time with your partner and other loved ones, intentionally participate in your networks, map out and schedule or book fun experiences, play at old or new hobbies.    

Address Financial Distress

Regardless of your financial situation, the key here is to get a handle on where you are at and to make a plan to get back on track. Whether it’s to eliminate debt, replenish savings, start investing or some other goal. Of course, consider consulting a financial advisor to support you implement the right plan for you to achieve your financial goals.

Activate Your North Star

This one is my favorite. Aligning ourselves with our higher-self, our purpose, and what kind of life we want to live is the way to create that life. Identify what is your Grand Life Experience you are here to live… What is the vision, the purpose, the dream. Then identify specific goals against that vision to create it… And specific habits, tactics, and strategies to achieve them. Without a roadmap, a vehicle, and the gas you won’t get very far. This is the inspiration and motivation to propel you forward. You don’t need to depend on will power, discipline and grit. Tap into inspiration! 

If even the above feel daunting, know that it is totally fine to move at your own pace, to honor where you are, to take care of yourself, and take tiny actions on the above to get yourself moving in the right direction. And, of course, get yourself support as needed!

Wishing you clear sunny days, and an amazing New Year and New Future…

Hope this information serves you and helps you get on the path to your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life. 

 

 

Episode Transcript

Learn more about the Podcast and check out other great episodes!

If you enjoyed the episode, we’d love for you to leave a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts to help others discover the show.

MENTIONED INSIDE

Connection Live
Top 10 Guidelines & Practices To Uplevel Your Relationship & Your Life

FREE Downloadable Exercises and Implementation Support
Planning and Reset Process
Identify Your Core Values

JUST FOR YOU

NEW! Monthly Activating Protocols
Establish Your Highest Potential in 10 Key Life Areas, Design Your New Life
Having a North Star ensures we stay the course on the path we desire on our Journey. It ensures we create the relationship and life we love, and have the Human Experience we desire… In this activation, we walk through a Visioning and Expansion Process to reprogram and reset for the New Year… We take a deep dive and activate the Highest Potential in 10 Life Areas to drive your reset. You get to explore your heart’s desires and identify the specific actions, tactic, or habits you’ll implement to create your New Beginnings, and your Ideal New Life… We design your ideal lifestyle you can start living immediately that’s the framework to live your Grand Life Adventure…

Don’t have a Membership with us yet? Access it and much more through our Radiance Membership! (Only $29 per month)
Get Enrolled NOW

RESOURCES

~~ Watch our related videos on our YouTube channel

~~ Download our FREE 1-pg Core Values Guide to align your vision today! Make your relationship resolutions, goals and dreams come true and create a shared life you love!

~~ Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Interested in Couple Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Coaching, Individual Therapy or Support Sessions?

We can help with our select memberships:
Radiance Membership – Transformational content and experiences subscription (Only $29 per month!) 
Success Membership – Private sessions and Radiance Membership access! (Start with an Initial Session)

~~ Interested in being our Guest? Interested in having Emma be a Guest in your Podcast?
Contact us about a possible collaboration!

 

 

DISCLAIMER: This content is meant to support your Journey and not as a replacement for professional assistance. Additionally, the ideas and resources provides by our guests are their ideas and recommendations alone and not necessarily a reflection of mine

Copyright (c) 2025 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

Embrace the New Year, Intentional Living for an Extraordinary Life

Embrace the New Year, Intentional Living for an Extraordinary Life

As we settle into the New Year, many of us are exploring and integrating our new habits, tactics, practices, and routines… While the cold weather may not be my favorite, I love this season for one reason: It’s the perfect opportunity for a fresh start.  And what’s more exciting than the chance to reset, realign, and step boldly onto a Grand New Path?

Failing to be intentional about how we begin a new year, or any significant milestone, is a missed opportunity. This is your moment to course-correct, realign for something meaningful, and set yourself up for your Best Year Yet.

Whether you’ve dabbled in Life Planning, Visioning, Shared Visioning, Goal Setting, New Year’s Resolutions, or simply Setting Intentions, now is the time to uplevel.

Here’s the secret: creating the life we desire boils down to three key steps:

  1. Identifying what we desire.
  2. Aligning ourselves with those desires.
  3. Mapping out a plan to make them a reality.

But here’s the catch: too often, we don’t even know what we’re working toward. We haven’t thought about what kind of life we want to live. We have no idea what our needs are, and we want in our relationship and from our partner… We don’t know or practice what keeps us healthy and what gives up joy… 

This is not how we create our Best Life, our Extraordinary Life and Epic Love… 

Now, please, I don’t want to hear your thoughts that you are not interested in creating that. That you are OK with an Ok or Ordinary Life… If that were true, you wouldn’t be reading this… Please be honest with yourself and finally Align yourself with your desires, your purpose, your radiant Human Experience… Or, what’s even the point of everything if we are not going for it?

If we are going to Play the Game, let’s PLAY the Game… Don’t sign up for it and then sit on the sidelines… Get me? 

Your Blueprint for Success

Now, it is not sufficient to finally own what we desire and create a vision… We need a mechanism for creating the thing… We need a map, a plan, a strategy, a system, a structure of sorts

Regardless of what mechanism you choose, what you are going for is a way to stay the course, to not rely on self-discipline and will power, to keep you focused, and inspired and motivated… 

Here’s how to set yourself up for success:

~ Establish self-care, self-love, and joy practices in your everyday…

~ Be intentional and graceful with how you show-up for yourself, your relationship and your life…

~ Implement aligned, leveraged habits in your daily, weekly, monthly, and quarterly routines…

~ Seek support by outsourcing, automating and delegating to create more efficiency and flow…

~ Commit to personal growth and relationship enrichment on an ongoing basis… 

By designing a lifestyle that supports your dreams, you’re creating a roadmap to success in every area of life. This is how you win the game of life and experience it as the Grand Adventure it’s meant to be.

So, make it your business to Map Out Your Lifestyle with practices that support the relationship and life experience you want to have. 

Happy Mapping! 

With Much Love & Light! 

 

Watch our related videos on our YouTube channel

>> Download our Core Values Guide to align your vision today! Make your relationship resolutions, goals and dreams come true and create a shared life you love!

 

PS: Related Articles

Why you need Purpose in your life
Do you have Clarity?
Why have a 100-Year Vision Plan…
Let your Values rule your life
Live by your Character and Practical Strengths
How to waltz into the New Year!
How to Upshift for your New Beginning [VIDEO]
How to make sure you get your New Beginning
Create a New Beginning with your partner this New Year [VIDEO]
Creating new beginnings through connection and collaboration
What would you like to have more of in the New Year?
New habits, routines and motivation
The power of having Intentional Habits™
Staying motivated with your new year’s intentions
Are you achieving your relationship goals?
Are you a strong partnership?
Do You Support Each Other?
Does your Couple Brand need upgrading?
Tired of feeling stuck in your relationship?
Tired of fighting without resolution?
Tired of the same old issue?
Tired of feeling disconnected?
Tired of feeling overwhelmed?

 

PPS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?

Interested in Couple Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Coaching, Individual Therapy or Support Sessions?

We can help with our private and group memberships:
Success Membership

Radiance Membership

Look forward to seeing you inside!

 

   Copyright (c) 2025 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

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New Year, New Quarter Century: How to Uplevel Your Relationship and Your Life

New Year, New Quarter Century: How to Uplevel Your Relationship and Your Life

A brand spanking new year, and the start of a New Quarter Century, #Q2Y2K. Isn’t that something? Big milestone years give me the tingles. I find them super exciting as markers and opportunities for grand gestures, grand plans or intentions, and absolutely for Grand New Beginnings. This is an opportunity to reset ourselves, our relationship, and our life. To set ourselves on a new path, for a new future. We can choose what we want this next segment of time to be like in our Journey… We can design our ideal future. Embracing this perspective is super empowering for having the Experience we desire… Here is to New Year Goals to uplevel our relationship and our life. 

But this might feel like an enormous undertaking, intimidating and too elusive to tackle… You might wonder, where do I even start to create such a Grand New Beginning… I hear you. 

Fear not, let’s make this accessible, manageable as well as fun!

First off, though we can use great milestone years as measurements of time, big transitions, and give them any meaning we like, as we are doing here as a motivational and inspirational perspective- let’s remember that time is actually non-linear… 

In time-space reality, everything we want to achieve or create or experience is already here… Everything is happening right now- past, present, and future. All possible realities. Everything… I’ll spare us even the most basic lesson in quantum physics and the interconnectedness of everything… I’m just a curious quantum physics enthusiast. But you can dig into this on your own if you are also curious about what is possible for our Experience… 

So our brain and mind don’t go on the fritz, creating more resistance to change than we might already experience, let’s tackle this from our usual perspective, as if time is linear… But just know that I’ll be tricky and sprinkle in tactics and practices to effortlessly activate us for our Grander Experience… You are welcome.

How to Set a Vision for the New Quarter Century

Ok, so we don’t have to overcomplicate it, philosophize too much, or make it scary to go for a Grander Experience in our life…

If you find that you are thinking things like: My life is perfectly fine as is. Or, I have no idea of what I want and don’t even know where to start, even thinking about this is too overwhelming. Or, Going for Grander is too much, I don’t have it in me to work harder for more. Or, I’m barely surviving and managing my life and my relationship, never mind this grand idea. Or, some version of these. Then, your mindset needs a little decluttering so you don’t hold yourself back from what is possible for you, your relationship and your life… 

Let’s start there and then go for it! 

Declutter Your Mindset for Transformation

What got us here won’t get us there… If you are looking to uplevel your relationship and your life, you need to uplevel your approach to them… 

These things will no longer cut it: Focusing on what doesn’t work or how unhappy we might be, victimizing ourselves, not believing in ourselves or our worthiness birthright, lacking a vision and goals, stretching ourselves thin and rejecting support or blessings, taking life too seriously and getting stuck in the weeds, lacking strategy and systems, lacking focus, prioritization, and periodization, neglecting ourselves, not cultivating joy, not investing in deepening connections, blaming our partner… 

These are a Lower-Self way of operating… They keep us in the grind, in disappointment and pain, symptoms or breakdowns riddled, in repeating dissatisfying patterns, and just experiencing a mediocre relationship and life at best…

THE KEY HERE – Is to explore the opposite of the approach above. Deconstruct and reprogram any conditioning and limiting believes. Heal wounds to reprogram defenses and patterns. Invest in self-regulation and personal development. Invest in improving and enriching your relationship. Learn productivity and efficiency skills and tools, without buying into a toxic hustle culture. Commit to a focused and disciplined but soft approach that allows you to create all you desire. Embrace a mindfulness practice to connect to your Higher-Self and tap into creation energy, into Unity or Love Consciousness, for a connected, synergistic and radiant Divine Human Experience… 

Expand Your Perspective For a New Vision

Once you feel realigned with a Higher Perspective… and are committed to embracing and practicing a different approach, you can dive into what kind of relationship and life you want to create, experience, live… 

This is where you explore your dreams, your heart’s desires. Where you create a relationship and life vision. Where you identify your goals and design a way of life and work to help you achieve them. Where you go for the epic s*t you want to experience and live in this lifetime. Where you fulfill your Prime Directive, your Soul’s Directive, of what it wants to experience and how it wants to expand…

THIS IS WHERE – You explore what is the Highest Potential you can imagine for every area of your life. For if you can see it, envision it, it means that you can achieve it… Your brain and mind can’t fathom the unfathomable. Get creative, go all out, dream big, go for the BHAG (big hairy audacious goal), think about what would make your life superhuman, super extraordinary, and what this means about the person you need to become – how you stretch into the best version of you… You 5.0! Commit to getting on the path for a Journey to that magnificent destination. For if you even achieve 10% of that massive vision, you’ve done better for yourself than if you hadn’t gone for any vision at all… 

Here is a list of the life areas to ponder and play with, but you can tweak this list to better fit your circumstance:

  1. Health, fitness, mental health, spirituality
  2. Personal development, personal growth, character strengths
  3. Romantic relationship / partnership
  4. Parenting, family
  5. Social, friendships, communities, networks
  6. Work, career, profession, business
  7. Financial health, income streams, assets, wealth, financial freedom
  8. Environments (homes, offices, other)
  9. Leisure, hobbies, experiences
  10. Legacy, impact, giving back, passion projects, cause, mission

Manifest Your Supreme Reality

After we get out of our own way with how we experience and create our life, envision what is possible and commit to having a Grander Experience, then we are ready to create, manifest, what we desire… We can go for a Supreme Reality! 

What does this mean? It means we commit to creating our life by design and invest in living the design… 

THIS MEANS – We identify the micro processes and choices we need to put in place and make on a consistent basis for the cumulative result of creating what we want. We moderate the grind- we still drill and focus and prioritize and choose intentionally how to live all our moments. But we do not hustle, overdo it, drive ourselves into the ground or neglect what is important in the Journey. We invest in systems and support for a softer approach and a worthy Journey… We cultivate Joy

So, we make an investment in the top 3 life areas that need the most attention for a leveraged upleveling of our relationship and our life. These are usually: Health, Relationship/s, and Prosperity for people. What are yours? Take an immediate action to start moving the needle forward in them… Implement a new habit, tactic, practice, or have the conversation, set the boundary, make the call, set up the appointment, book the thing, and so on… 

THIS ALSO MEANS – Getting on the same page with your partner… Discussing values, dreams, goals, priorities, tactics, habits to design your shared life and how to integrate those elements to create the relationship and life you both love! 

>> Download our Core Values Guide to align your vision today! Make your relationship resolutions, goals and dreams come true and create a shared life you love!

And, my Lovelies, is how we start this New Year on the right foot on the right path for a magnificent Journey this New Quarter Century! What will your relationship and your life look like in 25 years if you made a dent in your Vision this year…? Good stuff, right?

Let’s commit to staying the course. Get whatever support you need to help you along- let’s do this! 

With Much Love & Light!

 

LAST CHANCE FOR OUR HOLIDAY OFFERS!

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Stop the fighting, easily get on the same page, change repeating patterns, deepen and expand your connection and intimacy, and create a strong collaborative partnership? 

Create a harmonious, joyous, and loving relationship and home?

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Watch our related videos on our YouTube channel

Download our Core Values Guide to align your vision today! Make your relationship resolutions, goals and dreams come true and create a shared life you love!

 

PS: Related Articles

Why you need Purpose in your life
Do you have Clarity?
Why have a 100-Year Vision Plan…
Let your Values rule your life
Live by your Character and Practical Strengths
How to waltz into the New Year!
How to Upshift for your New Beginning [VIDEO]
How to make sure you get your New Beginning
Create a New Beginning with your partner this New Year [VIDEO]
Creating new beginnings through connection and collaboration
What would you like to have more of in the New Year?
New habits, routines and motivation
The power of having Intentional Habits™
Staying motivated with your new year’s intentions
Are you achieving your relationship goals?
Are you a strong partnership?
Do You Support Each Other?
Does your Couple Brand need upgrading?
Tired of feeling stuck in your relationship?
Tired of fighting without resolution?
Tired of the same old issue?
Tired of feeling disconnected?
Tired of feeling overwhelmed?

 

PPS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?

Interested in Couple Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Coaching, Individual Therapy or Support Sessions?

We can help with our private and group memberships:
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Look forward to seeing you inside!

 

   Copyright (c) 2025 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™
with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com

Clear Unhealthy Relationship Habits and Create a Shared Relationship Vision (Ep.30)

Clear Unhealthy Relationship Habits and Create a Shared Relationship Vision (Ep.30)

Relationships are a funny thing. We love them, we love to be in them, but a lot of times we struggle in them. Our romantic relationship, our partnership, is one of the most important things in our life, and yet, it might seem it isn’t by how we treat it and prioritize it in our life… Sometimes our partner is lucky if they even get on the priority list… Specially during this time of year, when our plates are so full that we might feel we have less time to do more stuff in.

When we get so hectic with demands, responsibilities and managing ourselves, it is very easy for our relationship to take a hit…

And this doesn’t mean that it’s hopeless. That it can’t work. That it’ll never be back to normal or that we won’t ever crack the code.

This just means that we are experiencing the very normal ebb and flow that happens in relationships. Sometimes things are great, sometimes we go through a little slump.

It is during the down times that we have to be more intentional about getting ourselves back on track, so we don’t create more wear and tear, and more importantly so that we don’t create irreparable damage… When we neglect our partner and our relationship for too long, or put them through the ringer too roughly, is like taking a knife to our bond… Once severed, it is very difficult to put it back together…

When we experience disharmony and disconnection, it’s important we invest in regaining the harmony, the connection, the joy… And we do that through reparative initiatives to resolve any disagreements, to get on the same page, to show and get understanding, acceptance, empathy, and compassion, to make amends…

As we ride the ebb and flow, we expand with each code we crack, with every repair, with every realignment, with every recommitment. This is the magic of being in relationship. At the end of the day, we are in relationship for our own expansion… Our partner is our Life Partner, they are a part of our Journey and to be treated with the at most regard due that role…

The key in all this is that we consistently invest in our relationship, in our partnership, to create our dream relationship for our best experience and most expansion…

~ During the lows we invest in repatterning, deconstructing, reprogramming, healing, stretching, learning, growing, evolving to we address the things that trigger us and what keep us stuck…

~ During the highs we invest in continuing our evolution and expansion, in nurturing and enriching our relationship, in taking it to the next level…

Our relationship is the vehicle through which we experience ourselves the most… Through our relationship we can explore, and expand, ourselves.

To not tap into this built in Journey Hack, and the Synergy that’s inherently part of our Union, is such a waste…

I offer that we take our relationship lightly-seriously for all that it has to offer us… And to do it justice, have our own back, and have the best Human Experience, that we tap into resources available to us to support us in our Journey.

In this episode, I have a delightful and empowering conversation with Victoria Sotelo, also a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, about how to create a healthy, harmonious, and honoring ebb and flow in our long-term relationship with our Partner.

We discuss: how to repair when things get off track, what might get us off track and roadblocks that disrupt our connection, how to get unstuck, the importance of identifying our core needs and operating from our values, and activating a positive approach and state of being to show up compassionately and lovingly in our relationship. But as if that wasn’t wonderful enough, we discussed how to create a Relationship Vision and how to nurture the relationship during the holidays!

Hope this information serves you and helps you get on the path to your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life.

ABOUT OUR GUEST

Victoria Sotelo brings a heart of compassion and passionate energy for cultivating healthy Marriages and Sexual Intimacy to her clients. She practices from an integrative model, incorporating the Biological-Psychological-Social-& Spiritual aspects of her client’s lives. Her excellent listening skills and problem-solving methods, along with her clinical experience, position her as a therapist with a balanced approach. Victoria has lectured to groups and professionals on ways to deepen sexual intimacy, and improve the quality of life, both in marriage, family, and personal growth potential. Victoria holds an LMFT license in New York, New Jersey, and Florida. You can find her HERE.

Gift from Victoria:
Create Your Relationship Vision

RESOURCES

~~ Watch our related videos on our YouTube channel

~~ Get our FREE 1-pg downloadable End-Of-Year and New-Year Planning Process (ENP Process) for establishing a shared life vision, creating a life and relationship plan, and starting the New Year with a New Relationship and New Your!

~~ Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?

Interested in Couple Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Coaching, Individual Therapy or Support Sessions?

We can help with our select memberships:
Radiance Membership – Transformational content and experiences subscription (Only $29 per month!)
Success Membership – Private sessions and Radiance Membership access! (Start with an Initial Session)

~~ Interested in being our Guest? Interested in having Emma be a Guest in your Podcast?

Contact us about a possible collaboration!

 

DISCLAIMER: This content is meant to support your Journey and not as a replacement for professional assistance. Additionally, the ideas and resources provides by our guests are their ideas and recommendations alone and not necessarily a reflection of mine

Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

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