Aside from financial strain, many couples start considering divorce when find themselves frequently in conflict or no longer feeling the relationship…
At its core, these issues often stem from undermining relationship patterns or a lack of connection… And can easily be addressed by enriching the relationship and deepening the connection between the partners…
Being intentional about our relationship is a proven way to safeguard it against cheating and divorce.
That said, I understand how the idea of investing in the relationship and deepening connection might want to make you throw up in your mouth if you are currently at odds or feeling completely estranged. I get it, especially if:
~ Conversations derail no matter how hard you try to get on the same page
~ You feel you are the one doing all the work- apologizing, planning, and trying to make things better
~ The idea of being available, open, or vulnerable feels overwhelming or even terrifying
~ Making the first move toward connection or intimacy feels awkward and unnatural
~ You worry that your partner might not understand or appreciate your efforts, or worse- might reject them outright
~ The things you’ve tried so far haven’t gained any traction or given the results you hoped for
~ Even if there is improvement, it often feels short-lived with the relationship slipping back into old patterns
These feelings are valid, and they are part of the challenge.
The truth is, if there is little effort to mindfully addressing issues, vulnerably sharing needs and preferences, and proactively investing in nurturing our relationship giving love and caring, the relationship has very little chance of surviving, never mind thriving…
These are antidotes to frequent conflicts and estrangement in our relationship… When we feel connected, we can have more understanding, give grace more readily, and find it easier to align, problem-solve, collaborate, and play together…
WHEN FREQUENT CONFLICTS IS THE CULPRIT
It is certainly not easy to be in a relationship that is riddled with tension and conflict. When conversations feel flat, superficial, or forced and the slightest truth can turn into a disagreement. When any behavior, decision, or comment has the potential to trigger a and argument that quickly escalate into a full-blown fight. When concerns or dislikes are left unspoken simply to avoid another argument.
This dynamic arises from the partners’ limiting belief systems, relationship mindset, communication styles, and defensive patterns. Creating habits and patterns that hinder the ability to show up compassionately, vulnerably, and authentically for one another.
~ Being Fully Committed – Closing any gaps or leaks and being intentionally building a successful relationship with a shared vision for a life together.
~ Taking Full Accountability – Owning your role in the current dynamic and making the necessary changes to foster different, more positive outcomes.
~ Proactively Addressing Challenges – Tackling what’s not working with compassion, kindness, and patience, while investing in nurturing and strengthening the relationship.
Making a commitment to making the relationship work, is in itself a powerful step toward making the relationship work…
WHEN ESTRANGEMENT IS THE CULPRIT
And it’s certainly not easy to be in a relationship that feels cold, distant, and transactional… Where the partners function more like roommates, prioritize their children over the relationship, or simply lead parallel lives. Where they might have challenges finding things in common or having fun together. Where they have let their physical intimacy fall by the wayside…
It is actually painful to live in a barren household or have a distant relationship. As humans, we have an innate need for connection, it’s hardwired into us as a fundamental part of our being. When we don’t meet this need, and especially if we have abandonment wounds, the pain can be excruciating. This pain invites our ugliest defense mechanisms as we try to cope with the distress…
Unfortunately, these defense mechanisms perpetuate the destructive power struggle cycle, the dissatisfying patterns, that couples experience when they haven’t invested in personal development and relationship enrichment.
The solution lies in creating, maintaining, and deepening their connection to create emotional safety that allows them to take the relationship and their intimacy to the next level:
~ Creating Connection – Gently reaching out for interest in connecting and nurturing the relationship. Showing interest in our partner with curiosity about their thoughts, feelings, experiences and desires.
~ Maintaining Connection – Implementing Connection Habits™ to protect the bond, cultivate a sense of closeness, and easily re-engage and reconnect even during challenging times.
~ Deepening Connection – Elevating interactions by engaging in more intimate, vulnerable, and authentic conversations that explore values, personal truths, emotions, and even existential topics for a richer and more profound connection.
Showing genuine interest in our partner can make a world of difference. When they feel truly valued, appreciated, understood, and desired the foundation of the relationship strengthens and the relationship starts to flourish.
Being intentional about our relationship is a proven way to safeguard it against cheating and divorce. By addressing and transforming defense mechanisms, programs, and patterns that drive our interactions, and by actively investing in connecting with our partner, we pave the way the way for creating the relationship we desire.
It is up to us to prevent the demise of our relationship by showing up with the best of intentions and with our Best Self. Only then can our relationship become the relationship we both love.
Happy showing up…
With Much Love & Light!
JUST FOR YOU
NEW! Monthly Activating Protocols Establish Your Highest Potential in 10 Key Life Areas, Design Your New Life Having a North Star ensures we stay the course on the path we desire on our Journey. It ensures we create the relationship and life we love, and have the Human Experience we desire… In this activation, we walk through a Visioning and Expansion Process to reprogram and reset for the New Year… We take a deep dive and activate the Highest Potential in 10 Life Areas to drive your reset. You get to explore your heart’s desires and identify the specific actions, tactic, or habits you’ll implement to create your New Beginnings, and your Ideal New Life… We design your ideal lifestyle you can start living immediately that’s the framework to live your Grand Life Adventure…
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Download our Core Values Guideto align your vision today! Make your relationship resolutions, goals and dreams come true and create a shared life you love!
PPS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2025 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
We are totally in love and decide to go exclusive, move in together, get engaged, get married, have children… But wait, we have to consider what’s the best way to go about the practical side of these steps… When we fall in love and are feeling all mushy, we don’t usually consider the practical strategies that might be helpful to have in place to create a smooth and harmonious life… We don’t consider what might be needed to be protected against unfortunate events and to create safety in the relationship.
Prenups, postnups and the like might get a bad rap for representing cautiousness about the partner and what their future might hold.
But there is so much more that goes along with creating legal documents and having financial strategies in our relationship. The documents and strategies don’t exist in a vacuum. They are part of a more meaningful conversation and a larger plan that protects the partners and their future.
What I love about this topic is that having these adulting pieces in place creates emotional security as well. The relationship dynamics are no longer informed by possible powerplays, doubt, fear, distrust, lack and so on. Everyone knows where they stand and the status of things, and are off on equitable and transparent footing. Which actually is a healthy way to start a joint life…
In this episode, I have a phenomenal conversation with Leona Krasner, a Family Attorney, about all the different legal needs throughout the lifespan of a relationship. We cover dating to post divorce if that’s the couple’s fate, and special circumstances that might arise. We have a lighthearted and very warm and mushy conversation considering the topic.
Hope this information serves you and helps you get on the path to your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life.
ABOUT OUR GUEST
Leona S. Krasner, Esq., MBA is founder and Managing Partner of Krasner Law, PLLC, a family law firm helping folks in New York and New Jersey with their family law needs. Leona works to ensure that she and her team provide compassion, solution-focus, and flawless execution for each client. When not practicing law, Leona enjoys helping students attain merit-based scholarships through her company Krasner Review, PLLC, organizing concerts for children through her nonprofit organization Tunes for Tots & Teens, and having adventures with her husband and 2-year-old. You can find her HERE.
Some deconditioning, evolving and adulting to do this year-end…
We dream of meeting the love of our life. We start dating. We fall in love. And then we think about how to move forward with the relationship, without necessarily giving much thought to the practical side of things. Or we do but ignore any seeming incompatibilities or red flags because we love our partner.
We yearn to get the ring if we are the woman or more feminine-energy partner in the relationship as we value closeness and togetherness. But the man or more masculine-energy partner is more cautious as they value their freedom and individuality or separateness.
If the partners don’t have sufficient personal awareness and if they are under social pressure to get married or find their person plowing through regardless of redflags, they might be setting themselves up for a very challenging relationship and heartache. Their future might become bleak.
They are to get a clear understanding of what they each desire from each other, the relationship, and the life they want to create. So they can chart their course from the beginning to avoid undo stress, headaches, and any misalignments later.
They can have a vision of the life they want to create and a plan for how to go about it. This can be fluid and of course can change overtime, but at least they start off on shared ground and with shared goals and dreams.
This helps them map out their course and put in place any practical legal, financial and other matters needed to ensure as smooth of a Journey as possible. The Journey then becomes about the Journey, and the partners don’t get distracted by any noise they might experience because they were not intentional about how they set up their life…
~~ Watch our related videos on our YouTube channel
~~ Get our FREE 1-pg downloadableConnecting for Change Guidelines for creating a strong partnership with your partner and a life you love!
~~ Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
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DISCLAIMER: This content is meant to support your Journey and not as a replacement for professional assistance. Additionally, the ideas and resources provides by our guests are their ideas and recommendations alone and not necessarily a reflection of mine.
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Yep, the celebration continues! We are celebrating our Podcast’s 1st Year Anniversary! Love bringing topics and conversations to support you in your Journey. I super enjoy the conversations with colleagues, friends, and experts on topics that I believe would enrich your experience, expand your consciousness, and of course help you make the changes you are seeking in your relationship and your life. We got you!
We cover a range of topics from all things relationship, including changing codependent patterns, to mental health and wellness, to self-love and expanding consciousness… We believe in embracing a relationship enrichment lifestyle and support you in creating the relationship and life you love. Through love and connection, we can create anything we desire…
Our celebration includes special episodes this month of selected segments from each episode we’ve created thus far of key takeaways for immediate implementation and results…
In this episode we cover the second half of the episodes, with topics such as: Embracing interconnectedness, empowering ourselves in relationship, integrating meaningful rituals and traditions, enhancing our sex life, developing parenting of neurodivergent children, implementing health, wellness, and success mindset and habits, considering divorce through mediation.
When you come across a guest you like or a topic that you’d like to hear more on, you can access their full original video episode linked in the list below.
Hope you enjoy this Essentials Compilation!
Hope this information serves you and helps you get on the path to your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life.
Get our Podcast 1st Year Episodes, including our Guests’ Gifts or Special Offers AND our FREE Relationship Enrichment Mini Course!
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THE GUESTS LINEUP
Segment: Awakening to Our Consciousness and Interconnectedness From Episode 12: Jeffrey Dunne – Explore Interconnectedness for More Harmony and Joy
Segment: Managing and Owning Ourselves Creates Smoother Interactions From Episode 13: Cinthia Hiett – Refresh Your Relationship with Your Adult You
Segment: Why Rituals Are Important and How they Enrich Our Relationships From Episode 14: Evan Imber-Black – Exploring Rituals to Enrich Relationships and Create Change
Segment: How We Choose to Look at Things Creates Our Reality From Episode 15: Francois Lupien – Small Big Mindset Tweaks to Succeed at Everything in Life
Segment: There are Two Types of Lovers in the Relationship From Episode 16: Deborah Fox – Libido Differences, Rekindling Desire and Sexual Satisfaction
Segment: What’s So Special About Play and Why It’s Important From Episode 17: Polina Shkadron – Parenting Neurodivergent Children: Tantrums, Parenting Styles, Self-Regulation (Pt1)
Segment: A Controversial Approach to Managing Kids Acting Out From Episode 18: Polina Shkadron – Parenting Neurodivergent Children: Transitions, Discipline, and Connection (Pt2)
Segment: Everything in Your Life Has an Impact on Your Wellbeing From Episode 19: Marvin Bee – A Different Perspective on Habits for Overall Health and Happiness
Segment: Even Your Personality Has an Impact on Your Health From Episode 20: Angela Mazza – Connecting Health Issues to Psychological and Relational Patterns
Segment: Your Daily Rhythms and Habits Impact Your Hormones From Episode 21: Serena Goldstein – Demystifying Women’s Hormonal Journey Throughout their Life Cycle
Segment: Creative Ways of Breaking Impasses When Divorcing From Episode 22: Glenn Dornfeld – If You Choose to Divorce, Choose Empowering Settlements with Ease
We’d do anything for our partner and our family, we love them to death… Have you heard yourself say these words in your head or to others? But is that sentiment and approach to our relationship, family and life actually serving us and them?
When we love too much, we get in the way of our love…
Let me explain. When we love too much, we do for others what they can and ought to do for themselves. We let them off the hook. We enable them to underfunction, not be accountable or responsible, not to step up, and to not honor us or show up for us. Everything becomes about what they get, which doesn’t really support them at the end of the day, and at our expense to boot…
This is not love, this is codependence. This eventually leads to disease for one of both partners. To children with behavior and other problems. To large amounts of debt or financial struggle. To risky behaviors with other consequences… To conflict, dissatisfaction, and boredom in the relationship. Life becomes blah, if not hell…
Get our FREE 1-pg downloadable Codependence Quiz to identify if and how you are impacted by codependence in your relationship- do you love too much?
The partners either grow really apart or become so entrenched in their fighting that they can’t see any other way out but actually getting out.
Before things get this dire, it’s imperative that partners get support to heal wounds, change their patterns, address limiting beliefs, stories and scripts, and the rest of it that gets in the way of the partners creating, sustaining, and enjoying a deep, meaningful and beautiful connection with each other…
I know that when couples do too much damage with their stuck patterns and dynamics, that it gets really difficult to come back from that. Of course, it is always a couple’s prerogative not to continue their relationship, but please don’t choose not to continue because you’ve created so much drama that you can’t see a way out. This is totally preventable and even reversible.
Give your relationship a good try!
And if you are at the end of the rope and no longer willing to invest in turning your relationship around, then please pursue conscious uncoupling. There is no need to continue to create drama, headaches, and heartaches…
In today’s episode, I’m glad for the conversation I have with Glenn Dornfeld, Esq. about the different ways couples can pursue getting divorced and how to go about a drama free, expedient, and less expensive process by using mediation. Please check it out.
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Did you know that your relationship is actually happening inside your head vs out there in the world? Your relationship is what you make of it, how you choose to look at it, how you choose to look at your partner, and how you choose to show up and respond to them… You are super powerful in creating the relationship you want, only if you own your power… And, owning your power doesn’t mean giving ultimatums, digging your heals in, flexing your muscles, and being stubborn about what you want or spiteful and vengeful… These are completely the opposite of owning your power… Don’t take the low-road. Take the high-road if you want to create a successful relationship…
When we resort to interaction tactics that are less than loving, we are undermining our connection, our bond, our love…
Operating in your relationship as if you have to win a federal case, and treating your partner as the enemy, someone you have to win, beat or make wrong, does not serve the goal of creating a successful relationship…
~ Fighting for your partner to acquiesce to your wishes, to do as you desire, and to agree with you does not empower you as you might believe it does…
~ Fighting to be seen, acknowledged, and appreciated by your partner is not the solution to being respected and valued…
~ Fighting to get an apology, accountability, or support doesn’t put your partner on your side…
When we try to control how our partner is, how they see us, what they believe, think, feel, and do, we are putting our energy in the wrong place… We have no power over our partner… When we try to exert power like this over them, we are actually disempowering them and ourselves… For we have power over ourselves only and from this place we can impact and influence…
If we force it, we can break it…
If we force our partner into things, by them going along they betray themselves and in so doing harm comes to the relationship in the long run…
We don’t get a gold medal for manipulating, controlling, intimidating, and overpowering our partner… This is a very low-road approach to our interactions and relationship that doesn’t feel good to either partner at the end of the day… This is operating from the lower-self that is symptomatic, riddled with fear, has very limiting believes, and low emotional intelligence and resilience…
The lower-self operates from ego-patterns and defenses. This is just a state. Partners can choose to how they operate. They can choose to operate from a different state and show up with their higher-self instead. They can choose to not show up with low-road tactics, or engage in them if their partner is using them…
Our partner can’t fight on their own. It takes two to fight…
We can choose not to engage in nonsense and approach our partner from a more empowered state. One of neutrality, respect, calm, openness, flexibility, care, compassion, understanding and such… Any interaction or situation can be diffused with these…
When we use these skills and strengths, honor the commitment and love we have for our partner, and treat them with the due respect that their role as our Partner garners, we see our partner step up to what that position entails…
If we treat our partner with less than that, how can we expect them to treat us any differently? We can’t wait for our partner to go first- then everyone is waiting. We have to take the high-road, plant a flag, be the bigger person and go first… Your partner will follow suit, I promise… This is how powerful you are. This is how much you can impact and influence your relationship…
Don’t let the scripts, stories, assumptions and the rest of the noise running in your head, determine the success of your relationship… When you do, your experience gets colored, and you find a way to prove yourself right… This is the confirmation bias we are prone to… This does not serve us in creating our successful relationship. This does serve us in getting divorced if we are ok going down that path…
Don’t get tripped up by letting your ego run the show. Do allow your heart to lead the way. You’ll be surprised at how fast things can turn around…
When you allow yourself this right, and don’t shoot yourself on the foot, you’ll notice that there is a reason for your union. You complement each other with your oppositeness. You create a richer experience, a more fertile ground to practice your humanness… You get to experiment and play at the game of life together. You get to win that!
This approach is how you tap into your inherent relationship synergy, how you evolve, and how you have a huge impact in creating your successful relationship and meaningful life…
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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