Have you ever noticed that there are certain couples in your life that you love being around, and others that you dread or avoid? How do you think others experience your relationship? Do they want to be around you and your partner? Or, do you find that you each get invites to go solo? Is your Couple Brand™ what you want it to be? Does your Couple Brand™ need upgrading?
Your couple brand is the flavor of your relationship. It’s also how your relationship comes across to others, and how others think of you as a couple.
If your relationship were to be described by your friends and families, what would they say about it? Do you think this captures the essence of it? Do you feel it’s reflective of how you experience your relationship? What is congruent and what isn’t?
And, let’s say that they got it right on the button and that you agree with what they see. Is what’s captured the relationship you want to have? Is this your Best Relationship?
If you were to choose the couple brand from scratch, what would you want it to be? What kind of relationship flavor do you want? What does the relationship you desire, your Best Relationship, look and feel like?
Here are some Couple Brand™ characteristics:
Tumultuous
Train Wreck
Argumentative
Bickering
Lots of fighting
Drama
Sick
Dysfunctional
Disloyal
Unsupportive
Uncommitted
Ships passing in the night
Roommates
Parallel lives
Single parenting
Dual careers
Power couple
Supportive
Cooperative
Collaborative
Strong partnership
Solid
Committed
Loyal
Loving
Fun
Adventurous
Funny
Romantic
Playful
Service oriented
Growth oriented
Wellness oriented
Inspiring
Role model
What is the current relationship flavor you have created? Are you satisfied with it? Would you change or expand it? To what? Choose a flavor form the list or choose your own! What kind of Couple Brand™ do you want to have? Who do you want to be as a couple?
Upgrade your Couple Brand™
Just as with any branding, first you have to connect to or identify what you stand for, the values you embrace and how you express those values. What is the purpose, mission and vision, what’s unique and sets you apart, how you want to be known, how you embody and live by your beliefs, how you show up authentically, how you represent, how you embrace who you are becoming…
This is a tall order. Usually, the partners don’t even know the answer to the above for themselves and are not in touch with their own Personal Brand. They live their lives by default and cocreate a relationship dynamic, relationship flavor and couple brand by default as well…
So, first explore and develop these aspects personally and make sure your own personal brand is up to par… Make it your business to own yourself more every day and embrace your brilliance more and more each day.
Then integrate your individual brands to develop a joint version… This is where things get interesting.
You might each have amazing personal brands but might find a lot of disconnects and differences to develop a cohesive joint brand. Therein lies the challenge… This is part of your relationship work and development…
Hey, you might say, Why do I even need a couple brand? You don’t need one but note that you are creating one whether you know it or not. So why not create one that you can be proud of? That serves as a role model to your children, and/or others? Why not create an amazing legacy? Why not use your relationship to fully embrace your human experience…?
As you each become more known and more accepted by each other, you’ll create more connection, intimacy and flow… This in and of itself starts expanding and aligning your Couple Brand™… See what emerges and name it. This is not static so don’t worry about being accurate or precise in your naming.
Your brand is always evolving… Just be intentional about it…
And note that what you do with the differences is what matters in the end. For you will have plenty… This is what makes you unique.
How you make it work for you, how you get creative, proactive and progressive and create your own relationship flavor is in the end your Couple Brand™. Make it a good one!
ASSIGNMENT: Focusing on developing your Couple Brand™ will not only Align you to You, but also assist you more easily implement a Relationship Enrichment Lifestyle…
In other words, it’ll help you more easily create the relationship you desire, your radiant and successful relationship.
First, play with your Personal Branding. The more you own yourself the easier and more satisfying the relationship becomes…
If you are a Member watch this Deep Dive on our Member Center and complete the related exercises in the handout: Plan Your Best Year Yet, New Beginning or Reset
Then, play with your Couple Branding. Identify what characteristics are part of your current brand that you want to change and what your ultimate Couple Brand™ would be. And, take an action toward those changes and additions.
Finally, add a Connection Habit™ to lubricate the way as you expand your repertoire and your flavor…
As Valentine’s Day is upon us, now is the perfect time to be intentional about upgrading your relationship. Embrace a relationship enrichment lifestyle. Embrace creating your Best Relationship ever.
Copyright (c) 2021 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
Couples usually have a challenging time coming up with fun things to do as a couple. They have difficulties having fun in their relationship. And, they might struggle having fun with each other. Do you know how to have fun together?
This is not unusual as partners have a tendency to focus on what they don’t like, an unfortunate product of our brain’s built-in negativity bias. They worry about everything that is not to their liking, about what their partner is doing or not doing, and how they themselves might not be measuring up… This are the scripts running in their head…
Top this with all the noise the partner’s might be carrying around as a result of everyday life. Unless they have a Mindfulness Practice to clear this and set their tune right on an ongoing basis, they are walking around as a radio broadcasting on multiple stations at the same time!
So, because the partners are distracted by all the noise and their dirty lenses, they are not able to see the possibilities available at the moment… They are not able to give grace to the partner’s and their own imperfections, creating additional blocks. This means the partners are showing up in a less than resourced state and not in a very receptive mode.
The filters find fault with everything creating the additional noise and murkiness, so the partners are not able to see the opportunities for fun, enjoyment and joy. They totally miss out on what the moment has to offer.
Even worse, because the partners operate in this mode most of the time, they don’t even get to plan, set up, or find themselves in moments conducive for fun and enjoyment…
Having Fun Is A Responsibility
That’s right, we have a responsibility to have fun! Why, you may ask? Because when we have fun, we generate good chemistry in our brain and good energy in our bodies. Good chemistry is needed for feeling good, for creating resilience, for staying healthy, and for overall wellness. Good energy is needed for creating an abundant and best life.
Now that we’ve been restricted by the pandemic, having fun and doing fun things is even more challenging. Add another layer to the complexity of enjoyment in our relationship, why not? [sarcasm] And, yet because we are together more and our life is more monotonous, we need to embrace a Fun Protocol more than ever.
I get that we have to be in a good mood, receptive and such to have fun in the first place… This could be a total catch 22!
This is where your personal responsibility is so important. You have the obligation to get yourself in the receptive mode. It is not your partner’s job to entertain you, give you fun or enjoyment… Fun is also an inside job!
It is your job to get yourself in the state to show up properly to your interactions, show up with your best self, and show up with the ability to transcend minutia and noise… To give grace. To be open. To be giving.
How do you do that? The simple answer: Owning your day, being intentional, and having a rich selfcare practice that includes a mindfulness practice.
Types of Fun
After you make sure that you are showing up to your life with your best self, to the best of your ability, the next step is to be proactive about creating fun opportunities.
Note, that you can plan and organize all you want, but will have a hard time having fun, connecting and enjoying each other if you are not fully owning yourself going in…
Make sure you have a variety of ways of having fun. Fun doesn’t necessarily need to be your partner’s way or your way. And, don’t get hang up on finding things in common. I too often hear how partners believe they are not compatible because they have nothing in common. You can work with this, believe it or not.
So, if it is not their way, your way or a common way, then what? The answer is not to over think it, and to cocreate as you go… You’ll be surprised where you can find fun once you get out of your own way…
Here are some ways to think about fun for inspiration (some for after the pandemic…):
Play with Buckets Lists – Seasonal, Things To Achieve, Places to Visit, Things To Learn, Things to Try
Create Different Experiences – From how you go places, to how you eat, to where you vacation, to personal touches added to your home, to different ways to nurture your relationship and your partner.
Set Out on Adventures – Take turns trying out adventures you each want to try or participate in.
Create Memories – Live life as if you are recording your best movie. Live it to the fullest. Be present, give it your all, take it all in. Create ritual and traditions. Celebrate.
Togetherness Flow – Create your daily routine to allow yourselves to “see” each other. To connect. To flow into Being with each other.
Enrich with Separateness – Don’t get bogged down with details about how much fun they have without you and why do they need to do stuff on their own. It doesn’t matter because they bring good mojo back. They create mysteriousness and allure. And, there is an opportunity to miss each other. It’s better this way…
Fun can be had anywhere and in any way. You don’t have to have fancy vacations, extreme activities and such to enjoy each other and live a full life. They are nice for sure, but not necessary… You already have everything you need…
ASSIGNMENT: It can be challenging to have fun alone or with our partner when we are not feeling so hot.
Your HW:
Turn your mood around
Seduce your partner into fun
Show up with your best self
Be genuinely gracious and open
Enjoy
Here are prior blogs on the topic for additional inspiration:
Copyright (c) 2021 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
This time of year, and specially with everything that’s going on, we might be feeling raw, sensitive, antsy, edgy, anxious, stressed, overwhelmed, depressed, unmotivated, lethargic, detached numb, and such.
These feelings are more compounded when we are feeling disconnected, might be experiencing a bout of low intimacy, and have fewer opportunities for fun. This doesn’t help the low desire and lack of intimacy epidemic of the modern-day couple…
A challenging trifecta: Feeling disconnected from our partner is usually accompanied by low desire and intimacy.
We need connection to be physically intimate (usually women, female energy) and/or we need physical intimacy to be connected (usually men, male energy)… This creates a conundrum for couples.
This conundrum has a tendency to create an impasse for couples, for the partners might need the opposite of what the other needs to become intimate and feel connected… Made even more challenging by physical intimacy also depending on the partners’ desire (libido, sex drive) and their ability to be intimate…
You’d think it’d be easy to enjoy the benefit and gift of physical intimacy in our relationship!
There is so much that gets in the way of desire and intimacy for partners…
Stress has a huge impact on your wellbeing, lifestyle and coping choices which in turn also affect your libido. We all have our stresses, and our current world is just heaping it on. And no comment on the impact on lifestyle…
And of course, then we have the actual couple dynamics, and most likely your power struggle, at play to boot!
Not for nothing the modern-day couple (and specially during this pandemic times) has difficulties sustaining consistent and satisfying intimacy in their relationship.
There are a ton of entry points from where to address your current low desire and lack of intimacy. Addressing any (or combo as needed) of the items mentioned above will make a difference in your current state of affairs.
But I want to offer you the most direct path for more immediate relief… You see, your libido, sexuality and physical intimacy with your partner is what you make of it… At the end of the day, desire and intimacy is an inside job…
You have control over your own desire… When you focus on what your partner is doing, how they look, how they are showing up, what they contribute and such, you are extinguishing your desire… Desire is not about your partner. Desire is about you!
Desire as an inside job has to do with How You Choose To:
So, you see, desire and intimacy are not something that are happening out there and that depend on your partner. Desire and intimacy are something you create…
When you shift to looking at desire and intimacy as something you create, then you can create as much of it as you want!
ASSIGNMENT: Watch what scripts came up for you as you read this post, and as you percolate with this concept…
1. Mind how you:
Victimize yourself
Get in your partner’s circle
Entertain your limiting believes
Sabotage intimacy
Have a hard time trusting and letting go
Are stingy giving, receiving, allowing
Are not fully Being…
2. Make a commitment to Be in your relationship…
3. Select the item that resonates the most as something that gets in the way of your intimacy and decide to address it full on!
Create health and vitality
Look at your partner (get out of their circle!)
Interact and bring Swag
Be available and have energy
Ready yourself for sexy time
Relax and show up
Be grace-full, grateful, and generous
Taking charge of your desire and intimacy is super empowering and exhilarating! What better time to embrace this as we continue to be impacted by the pandemic, are starting a new year, and are right around the corner from Valentine’s Day…
Make a commitment to reset your relationship and your marriage. Why not create a new marriage, or new relationship?! Let’s do this!
Copyright (c) 2021 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
I love new beginnings whether it’s a new year, a new season, a new chapter, or just a nice and simple refresh and reset… I believe these are amazing opportunities to take stock and plan anew to keep evolving and expanding ourselves and upleveling our life. This applies to all areas of our life, from personal to relationship to professional/business. A refresh and reset are great when feeling off and looking to increase connection in your relationship.
I usually like to connect working and improving on our life areas with creating new Habits to make it really easy to concretize, implement and sustain new behaviors… This is how we create change, through repeatable measurable behaviors.
I also usually like to advise that it’s not all about the doing, but the Being as well… It’s how and what we bring to our behaviors that create the results we desire. We can white-knuckle or willpower anything, really focus on our relationship, and work till we drop to still end up not creating the results we are after… With our Being we align, make the right choices, and connect…
When you make a decision and create a plan, you are more likely to achieve what you desire… This also means you can create the relationship you desire!
Creating the relationship you desiremeans bringing the Best You to your relationship… I have recently written extensively on this and guiding you on how to: become You 2.0, increase self-regulation and resilience, establish a rich self-care practice, take charge of your days, implement Intentional Habits™ and the like. Feel free to search for related topics on the Blog.
Creating the relationship you desirealso means having to stretch to meet your partner…
For your relationship to be successful, you have to focus on you. You have to focus on what you need to change, improve, uplevel, and how to show up with the Best You. Now, now. This doesn’t mean you turn yourself into a pretzel to please your partner… And, that you change who you are to please your partner… It actually means exactly the opposite…
It means you become more authentically you, that you drop the defenses, the ego, the scripts, and such, to please your partner. AND, to create the relationship YOU want!
For your relationship to be successful, you also have to focus on your partner… What? We actually have to invest in our relationship? We actually have to enrich it? We actually have to nurture it? [Sarcasm…] Yes! If you don’t water a plant it dies, doesn’t it? What do you think happens to your relationship when you don’t tend to it?
Creating a Successful Relationship means implementing a Successful Couple Strategy™:
2. Getting and staying on the same page by minding your communication style, skills and tools. Preventing arguments, fights and escalations. Learning how to apologize and repair. Following healthy decision-making protocols.
4. Increasing yourconnection, intimacy and fun. Creating, protecting and sustaining your connection, establishing reciprocal loving, and generating closeness. Eliminating the blocks to desire, increasing attraction and implementing a Successful Date Night™ protocol. Becoming more compatible.
5. Becoming a stronger partnership. Creating a Shared Life Vision, dreams and projects. Embracing a collaborative approach and implementing systems for taking care of responsibilities. Developing inspiring rituals and traditions, your Couple Brand™, and leaving a legacy.
So, if you are struggling in your relationship, there is plenty you can do to turn things around!
Today let’s focus on creating more connection as feeling disconnected can be an unbearable feeling that undermines our overall wellbeing, which can already be threatened this time of year…
I – Create, protect and sustain your connection – The easiest way to increase connection is to implement Connection Habits™. This ensures whatever intention you have to nurture your relationship and love on your partner, that you actually follow through consistently… I’m sure you are aware that our partner tends to fall to the bottom of our priority list, if they even get on it at all…
Create space in your routine for connection time and don’t let yourself be distracted from Being with your partner. Protect this space, time and focus but actually scheduling time, setting reminders, blocking distractions and such.
Make note that you might have the best of intentions, might have set up the best Habits, and mean well, but when it comes time to connect it fizzles… Why? Take a look at the energy you bring to the interactions… Make sure you show up without expectations, not in your partner’s circle, and with your Best Self…
II – Establish reciprocal loving – It is a given that we usually give love the way we like to receive love… This is the surest way to disappoint our partner! For they don’t necessarily like to receive love the way we do, they almost most certainly like to receive love differently than we do…
If you’ve been beating your head against the wall thinking you do all this for your partner and they don’t even see it, this is why. And, this is also why you might not get how come they think they are doing all this for you when you don’t see anything…
The key is to identify your preferred love languages and for each of you to give love to your partner in the way you each like to receive love… Their love language might be foreign to you, but this is what is required… And, in stretching to give love in their love language you are expanding your repertoire and expanding yourself… A win-win after all!
Check out the Love Nudge app to help you, it’s from the creator of the 5 Love Languages concept. Let me know what you think.
III – Generate closeness – You might be setting up Date Nights and Couple Time to yet find that the time is filled with awkwardness, anxiety, disconnect, and even fighting. The purpose was to feel more connected and close, and by the end of it you feel worse. One of you might even be shutdown, creating additional distance…
The key here is to go deeper than superficial conversation or talking about the children or problems. And this is not the time to “talk about the relationship”!
To generate closeness the key is to share of your internal world… And, to equally induce your partner’s sharing of their internal world. Note, I used the word induce… We don’t want to force this- demand that they share. The sharing happens more naturally when there is safety… Your job is to show up inquisitive, inviting, open, accepting, trusting, and the like. Leave your criticism and judgement out the door.
Share openly, but wisely… Inquire curiously, but mindfully…
Connection can’t be forced. It happens when there is trust and safety. Make sure you are inviting and creating that for yourself and that you are creating that for your partner. When you do this, you’ll see the shift… And, they’ll reciprocate…
ASSIGNMENT: Make a commitment to nurture your relationship and love on your partner. Set the intention to increase your connection…
Choose one approach to start with to increase your connection:
Implementing Connection Habits™
Embracing your Love Languages
Sharing your Internal World
Focus on your approach with gusto, share it with your partner, make time for it, get resources, go all out.
Do keep in mind that with gusto doesn’t mean obnoxious. Go at it with ease, presence, and mindfulness. This is not about controlling and doing a ton of stuff. This is about Being with your partner…
It’s not easy to shift our attention to nurture, to give love, to be loving. Whatever approach you chose, even the intention as a whole, might be a stretch for you and/or your partner… Be easy, gentle and compassionate about it. This is a good focus. Enjoy it.
Copyright (c) 2021 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
Happy New Year! The promise of new beginnings is just beyond alluring, is it not? Whether you are rocking it or are struggling, a new ride is just fun! We’ve had a heck of a 2020, and though there is light at the end of the tunnel 2021 is off to a slow start. I say we go with the flow, with tenderness and compassion. I say we glide into the new year with ease.
Tenderness, compassion and ease does not mean taking it easy, being lazy or dragging butt! It just means doing it right and with finesse…
Last month we covered a whole process to help you wrap up the year and get set up to start the new one right. We:
Now we get ready to ride the new ride well… We make sure we are resourced to do what it takes, to stay the course and to enjoy the way.
Now is the time to embrace a joy, connection and abundance mindset… To shift our focus from doing to Being… You can wrestle the thing to the ground and still make nothing happen, or not get the ultimate results you are looking for, if you approach it solely by doing… The key is to infuse it with your Being…
When you integrate doing and being in your life is when the Magic happens…
So, this is the focus of today’s message, how to live your life integrating doing and being to create a beautiful symphony…
The way I like to approach this is to first create the container for the experience, the music hall for the orchestra. Every instrument has its place and time to make its appearance in the masterpiece being played, so does everything in your life.
This is why I often write about Designing our Ideal Day, the music hall, and about embracing an Enrichment Lifestyle, the orchestra, and tending to it with Intentional Habits™, the instruments, so we can easily and masterfully create our Best Life, Transcendental music…
Using Habits to manage our doing and being is a brilliant way of staying focused on the right ladder against the right wall in all areas of our life while infusing it with our Presence… This is the easiest way to get all the right instruments in the right places so they can create their music…
Let’s say that you are focusing on upleveling your wellness (joy), connection (love) and success/creation/impact (abundance), as these are typically the areas people focus on improving… And, that you have goals for these for the year. And, that you are scratching your head as to how to achieve the goals. You might know what you need to do but are worried that you won’t stick with it to get the results desired.
This is where the Habits come in. They keep you focused and going without white-knuckling or depending solely on limited willpower. They help you effortlessly imbue your day with what is important to you, stay focused, and stay the course.
Therefore, adding wellness, connection and success habits to your intentional ideal day that include Being mindful and present is the simplest and surest way to create Magic…
WELLNESS – this includes all kinds of tactics for increasing wellbeing, health, vitality, and longevity. This area is where I usually house the Self-Care Practice, which I strongly encourage includes a Mindfulness Practice…
I place a strong emphasis on this area because it is extremely difficult to be able to connect with others and be successful if we are not connected to ourselves first… and functioning optimally…
When we don’t abandon ourselves, we don’t worry about others not being there for us.
And, we bring cleaner energy and resourcefulness to our interactions… This is what helps us show up well for our loved ones, and enables us to create our meaningful and impactful life…
So, when you say you don’t have time for self-care, I say you don’t have time to not have time for self-care!
Intermittent fasting, early dinners, Sleep Healthy Brain Aid (2 tbl MCT Oil and 2 tbl of collagen powder 2 hours before bedtime), daily floss and mouth wash, brain exercises
Screenless time, social media detox, reduce blue light
Early to bed
Gratitude List, Gratitude Journal
CONNECTION – this is about connecting with our higher power, with our self, with our loved ones, with our community and with the world at large… The relationships we create are the strongest indicator of resilience, vitality and longevity… Our connection to other people and our relationships are what give our life meaning…
Connection gives us safety, security, and belonging primal drivers in our Human Experience. Connection is what makes relationships special, what gives us joy, what makes our heart sing. In connection we know we exist…
In connection we know we are having a Human Experience…
When partners complain about feeling disconnected from their partner they are not just whining, they are sharing they are in pain. They are in existential pain… Specially as they are also disconnected from themselves… Which we know they are because they feel disconnected from their partner…
You see when we complain we are feeling disconnected from our partner, we are actually complaining we are disconnected from ourselves…
We can’t fully connect with our partner if we are disconnected from ourselves…
So, for those of us who are super achievers in an effort to be known and to meet the need of knowing we exist… we are shooting ourselves on the foot with all the doing… All the doing is holding ourselves back from being in relationship with ourselves and others… All the doing is holding ourselves back from Being itself…
This is why a Self-care Practice is paramount in personal development and relationship enrichment work… This allows us to Be, to be with ourselves, and to know we exist… Then we can have a relationship with our partner and enhance the level of intimacy in our relationship…
When people set goals for the year, they usually neglect setting goals for their relationship… When people design their Best Life, they usually don’t flesh out how they want to Be in their relationship… When people think about their Lifestyle, they don’t necessarily think of a creating a Relationship Enrichment Lifestyle™…
A relationship enrichment lifestyle means we keep our connection and our partner forefront in our mind. The easiest way to do that without being consumed with our relationship at the expense of what we are trying to live is to create Connection Habits™…
Some suggestions for your Connection Habits:
Meditation
Morning Coffee
Midday Check-in
Midday Connection Outreaches
Random Check-ins
Late Afternoon Sync
Anytime Connection Outreaches
Evening Reentry Ritual
Dinner
Weekly Special Dinner
Woo Wednesday
Family Night
Couple Time
Evening Ritual
Bedtime Ritual
Sexy Time
Friday Friends Night
Volunteer/Impact Projects Time
Saturday Date Night
Special Date Night
Sunday Ritual
SUCCESS – is whatever makes us feel we achieved what we are Meant to achieve, what we Desire, what our Purpose is, what we want our Human Experience to be… Success is not about having a gazillion dollars… Though being wealthy and financial freedom can very well be part of our definition, in and of itself is empty and not rewarding…
Financial success is more meaningful and rewarding when achieved through providing value…
Success as it is usually measured and at the expense of health and relationships is not success in my book. The degrees, awards, companies, assets, material things and the like don’t necessarily make for a richer Human Experience… They might, depending on how they are achieved and utilized…
Pursuing this success for its own sake defeats the purpose of Life… So, when you are told you have to sacrifice, that something needs to give and such to be successful, I say be weary. Don’t let that limiting mindset pollute your mind and hold you back from your fullest potential…
The key here is to go big on the experience you want to have… To identify and own your Personal Prime Directive™ (PPD), to own your brilliance, to own all of you and to put it to work as wisely as possible… It’s not about doing more… It’s about doing it better…
Doing it better means we use our PPD as a filter for commitments, projects, activities, tasks and all the rest of it. It means we are selective and focused on the target of our attention. And, it means we are resolute in our approach…
Some suggestions for your Success Habits:
Embrace Graceful TimeMapping™
Plan your week flow on Sunday
Share any important scheduling with your partner on Sunday
Join the 5 AM Club (this means you go to sleep earlier also!)
Have an empowering Morning Routine
Review your goals
Use the first hour on Monday to plan out your work for the week
Schedule your work into your TimeMap (batch work, chunk work)
Build in margin and transition times into your routine
Build in bio and recharge breaks into your routine
Protect your focus work time from distractions
Assign time to read email and return calls
Assign minimal time to check the news and social media
Attend 1-3 networking events per week
Have 2 coffees or networking conversations per week
Connect with 3 center of influence contacts per day, nurture your connections
Use templates, check lists and/or automate repeatable tasks
Subscribe to Smart Delegation
Delegate or outsource items outside your brilliance
Have outstanding follow through, keep your word
Wrap-up the workday and the week, do daily and weekly reviews
Use a MasterMind, a coach, and other support
Always be learning and growing
Learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable, develop courage
Now the three habits list can be a bit overwhelming at first glance if you are new to building habits and taking charge of your life…
Don’t worry, Rome wasn’t built in a day… You don’t have to do all of them or too many to start getting results in your life, and certainly you don’t have to start too many at once. The key is to start somewhere and keep going. You’ll be making incredible leaps in upleveling your life in no time!
ASSIGNMENT: Select one tactic from each list to add to your repertoire…
1. With each tactic create a corresponding Wellness, Connection and Success Habit. Each habit is to be a concrete quantifiable repeatable behavior at the frequency of your choice that gets plopped into your Daily Routine.
2. Calendar your Habits – build then into your schedule… Adjust your schedule as necessary…
3. For each habit make sure you prep before you are to start them – have all the information, instructions, supplies, gadgetry, tools, resources, etc. to make sure the behavior can be carried out at its allotted time…
Getting good at creating habits makes a world of difference when it comes to upleveling your life… This ensures you implement and carryout consistently and effortlessly anything your heart desires. Before you know it you are Living your Best Life!
Copyright (c) 2021 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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